"One way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans"Not sure when I heard this saying, but I always remembered it. It is a good lesson in control, or lack there of. It is a reminder that no matter what we do to prepare, we are not in charge here. It can be unnerving to some, especially those who like to be in charge (or appear to be). Those who worry or are insecure, may cringe at the idea that they honestly have NO control over anything that happens in their life. I have felt this. I have worried over things I have no control over. It is the equivalent of running repeatedly into a wall, it does not change anything and eventually you will end up with a headache!
So, as many of you know, I have desired to have a natural childbirth. Many of you who have already experienced this, have warned me against making plans. I, however, chose to prepare myself, yet have been open to the idea that it will go how it is supposed to go. So, as my due date has come and gone, I am now 5 days over due and my original plan is close to having to be scrapped. I have till Tuesday essentially for natural/ spontaneous labor to ensue before my doctor has decided to induce me. I have been praying that the spontaneous labor takes place in the next 2-3 days, because I still would like to avoid Pitocin and other interventions. However, I am in acceptance that it may not be this way. I may end up going in Monday night and taking the cervical softeners, to be followed by Pitocin Tuesday morning as my doctor plans.
And... I'm at peace with it. God is in control. He knows what is best. I trust him fully. I feel that I have done my part in preparing myself to have the natural childbirth, but if that is not his will-- it's ok. God knows better than I do and how lucky am I to have the creator of the universe carving out a plan/path for me? He's turned my life around and blessed me in ways I could not have even imagined, so I would be foolish to fret and not trust him now. He sees a way bigger picture than my eyes can see.
I am going to keep up with the natural induction methods (and prayers) until the last minute, but all I ultimately desire is a safe and healthy labor and delivery for Addison and me!
I am packing my hospital bag today. :) Any day now long awaited, miracle baby, Addison Sarah Emily will be here with us! Praise God~
