Learning to be a bum-genius!

When I first started fertility treatments, I began looking into various parenting options and made some decisions of what I wanted to do when I finally did become pregnant.  One of the important decisions I made was to use mainly cloth diapers. In the pursuit of being environmentally friendly, financially friendly, and most importantly, "Au natural":  cloth seemed like the best fit for me.
As my due date draws closer, I decided to start really looking into buying/registering for some cloth diapers. Who knew that this wasn't so cut and dry as it seemed?  The doll babies I had when I was little had a little piece of cloth secured with pastel colored large safety pins to cover all the messy spots.  Oh no, that is not the case these days.  There is a whole cloth subculture:  types, brands, covers, blogs, accessories, stores..the list goes on and on...
It is overwhelming- thankfully I have I have 2 friends who are both on child number 2 using cloth.  They have hooked me up with advice and websites with valuable information. Still with these virtual cloth tour guides, there is so much to take in.
My tentative plan is to use primarily cloth unless I am going out for an extended period of time or leaving the baby at the church nursery.  I am considering using pre-folds when the baby is a new born and then switching to All In Ones when the baby is a bit bigger.  Prefolds are the basic cloth that you secure with a fastener.  The All in Ones (AIO) have a waterproof outer layer and do not require a diaper cover.  They close with snappies or velcro. I love the colors and designs that they come in and have heard a lot about the brand, Bum genius.

I am going to be making an appointment at a local cloth diaper store and they will walk me through my options and how to successfully use cloth.  I will keep you posted on how this journey goes. I am having fun so far!

Flutters

I unmistakably felt the baby tumbling around yesterday.  It was the coolest feeling in the world.  It happened twice yesterday.  It wasn't a kick, it was more like synchronized swimming or gymnastics.  It lasted a long time and consisted of multiple movements.  I have felt it again today, for even longer.  I just love this!  It brings a reality to this experience, similar to that of the ultrasounds.
So thankful!  Praise the Lord.
In honor of Thanksgiving and my thankful mood, here is a thankfulness list:
1) God/Jesus
2) Baby Johnson
3) My wonderful, loving husband
4) My loving, supportive parents
5) My kind, loving in-laws
6) My silly doggies
7) Our home
8) Our jobs
9) Our church
10) Our friends/ community group (Bible Study Group)
11) Our health
12)  Our extended family
13) Heat in the cold
14) The beautiful weather
15) Ultrasounds
16) Feeling the baby move
17) Christmas time
18) Love

Ok, that is it, I could go on for ages!  I had a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with fun, food, and love.  So thankful & blessed.

Daily Prayers

Here are the things I daily pray for for the baby:
1) That she know and love Jesus from a young age and through out her life
2) That she loves her parents and extended family
3) That  she is healthy: no physical, mental, behavioral, or emotional disabilities
4) That God protect her, keep her healthy, happy, & safe and continue to uniquely knit her in my womb
5) That she is getting adequate nutrition and hydration
6) That she loves people and animals and is God's hands, feet, & tongue in this world
7) That she is able to avoid the darkness and despair of being separated from Christ
8) That she is blessed by God
9) That she finds a husband as great as mine, who has a relationship with God
10) That she knows her value 

Blessed Assurance

The nurse squeezed me in to check the heart beat once again.  It was strong, fast, & loud.  Music to my ears.  The baby even kicked the doppler! I heard the noise of the kick, however do not feel them yet. I am so thankful that everything is ok~ God is so good!

Heart Beat

I had a routine monthly check up yesterday.  I was really excited before the appointment to hear the heart beat and once again be reassured that everything was still ok.  The first few months of pregnancy are strange, there are outward signs that something is changing, such as my growing belly, but other than that, not much signals to a little life beginning inside.  No kicks, no sounds, no discernible movements. I rely on the ultrasounds and Doppler to reassure me that this is real, that there is really a little being growing inside me.
So, there I am, laying on the table at the doctor's office with my greased up belly exposed, waiting for the nurse to find the heart beat.  She moves the Doppler from side to side, then up and down, and again from side to side... Fear begins to creep in.  I hear a faint heart beat, which she tells me is my own.  Where is the heart beat?  Where is the sign of life that I so needed and longed to hear?  I begin to pray silently. 
The nurse comments that she is having trouble locating the heart beat and it is probably just the position of the baby.  She goes to fetch the doctor.  As I wait for the doctor, the fear creeps in harder.  I pray as silent tears streak my cheek.  I text my best friend, asking her to pray. 
The doctor comes in and is able to locate a faint, muffled, heart beat.  He says that it is definitely the fetal heart beat and that he can hear the limbs moving.  He said the nurse had trouble finding it because the baby is lower than expected for 18.5 weeks.  He said that the baby was hiding and in a position that made it hard to hear the heart beat. 
His words assured me while I was there.  However, when I left, the fear crept in again.  I am trying to pray and release my worries.  I'm sure the doctor would not release me if there was any concern.  I also trust that the Lord is watching over me and my baby. This is hard though.  These doctors visits are what I look forward to for reassurance that everything is ok.  This particular visit just left me with more fear. 
I do not want to lack faith by worrying, so I am trying not to.  Please pray for me and the health of the baby. 
Matthew 6:25-27  “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

You know, when I was going through the fertility treatments, I always thought that once I am pregnant, life will be awesome and worry free!  It seems that I have so many more possible worries now.  I am scared for this life inside me.  I am committed to enjoy this pregnancy and not worry it away.  Worry is a choice and I am determined fight against it.